Still angry

I've done my yoga and Mongolian breathing exercises, drank my peppermint tea and I AM STILL ANGRY with that little Irish squirt.HOW DARE HE?

I need to calm down. I am going to call Lami (I call him Lami but you will know him as the Dalai Lama).

Louis who?

How dare he? Louis Walsh says i know nothing about the music industry. I WAS IN THE BIGGEST GIRL BAND IN THE WORLD!

AS A SOLO ARTIST I HAVE SOLD 12 MILLION RECORDS.

I AM SO ANGRY.

Amazing Body

I am currently on a celery only diet. My lovely boyfriend says my body is AMAZING. He says he's been checking out other girls bodies but that mine is definetly the BEST.

X Factor

Simon (I call him Simon you will know him as Simon Cowell) still hasn’t called me. He’s probably lost my number.

I like Nicole Scherzinger but don't you think the Pussycat Dolls were just Spice Girl copycats?

Poor Cheryl

Poor Cheryl. She’s still in hospital. Hope you get better soon darling.
I expect Mr Cowell will be calling me soon to invite me back to X Factor.

Brilliant Spain

Congratulations to Spain for winning the World Cup. What a great feeling it is to know your are the best in the world. I still remember when I won Best International Female Artist at the Comet Awards.

Shame Ronaldo wasn’t playing. I do like him. He’s SO DISHY. But I expect he was looking after his baby.

George crashes his car again

Poor George crashed his car again last night. He really must stop taking those sleeping tablets. He said the police were very nice. He does like a man in uniform. Don’t we all girls?!!!

Cheryl Cole Malaria

Poor Cheryl. I am so sorry to hear that she has got malaria.

I hear she caught it when she went to Africa on holiday.

I have been to Africa many times as a UN AMBASSADOR and never caught it.

Get well soon Cheryl.